A half year

6 months - it is bittersweet. Sweet mostly; how can it not be? Bitter because the time is passing so quickly. It's a big milestone for so many reasons. You hear from the beginning that this is when you "come up for air" and feel like you could do it again (I've been warned that apparently your memory um, erases itself with the bliss of the 6 month mark and this is why suddenly lots of women find themselves with another one on the way around this time...true story). I believe it. It just gets better from about 4 months on.

Today, Eliza wears her great GrandMary's (Nicholas' late paternal grandmother) beautiful Nannette dress. It is from 1924 - 87 years old, people - and in pristine condition. Thank you, Aunt Karin, Miller family historian, for lovingly preserving it. It goes without saying at this point that this baby's mother has a terrible weakness for timeless, vintage pieces passed down through the generations...but this dress really is too much. And blue! And with tiny, white crocheted buttons! I about died when I saw it.

6 months to the day and we have an unsupported sitter on our hands. Oh she thinks she is something special now. She still wants to walk everywhere though (with our assistance, por favor); I don't know how normal this is. Stiffens her legs and is annoyed by our attempts to make her sit. Will stand and walk all day long. Little E. seems anxious to get a move on, and perhaps even a little frustrated by the sitting. Determined, opinionated, happy and I know I say it incessantly, but so darn precious. I'm sorry. It's the mama mush brain. I will try harder.

She eats everything with gusto; primarily food. We try to keep other random stuff out of her mouth but she would eat that too if we let her. Finally, finally, goes down for a nap with minimal fuss. Still sleeps like a champ (except when traveling…). She loves books, especially the corners which are the most delicious parts of books. And Madeline Loves Animals, which seems to be casting a particular spell over her these days.

Teeth are on their way, we think. Hair is there - it's fuzzy and fair (I'm a poet and I didn't know it). Talking up a storm - lately it's "ma ma ma ma" all the livelong day. Ma ma ma loves this. I pretend she is calling my name, but really it's just jibberish (or is it?).

She plays peek-a-boo and clings to us when carried; an active participant in all we do. Reaching, grabbing for everything, particularly dinner knives, full cups of whatever, anything that crinkles, shines, looks un-babytoylike and exciting. Curious little monkey. We are about to get a run for our money, I fear.

We are still nursing and I have to say, this is a big thing for mama. Short of childbirth and well, the little lady you see splashed in excess all across this blog, it is my biggest accomplishment these past 6 months. They say you should try if you can to nurse to six months. Who says? I don't know...EVERYONE. The pressure to keep nursing is intense. I am proud of this because it was so, so hard in the beginning, us both sick, my supply in the tank, starting to supplement with formula, me wanting to throw that stupid pump, attached every 2-3 hours around the clock, as far as I could throw it- but we stuck with it. I initially gave it two months, tops. Then four months. And here we are! It did get easier. Not overnight. Lots and lots and LOTS of beating myself up over it - but I do love it now.

My thoughts on breastfeeding, the campaign for breastfeeding, etc. etc. have evolved too. Of course, I think it's a wonderful thing to do and encourage; just wondering if we could stop shaming the mothers, like me, who have to give their baby formula for them to survive? Isn't there enough mama guilt to go around? Lord have mercy. So, here is where I stop beating myself up about my sad supply that never seemed to quite come in like it should. I'm going to pat myself on the back instead. We made it to six months - half formula, half nursing, whole healthy baby. Hurrah.

Looking back and reflecting, there's a lot I'd say to myself six months ago. There may be a few posts to come on that as so many friends seem to be heading down that road soon, and I feel like I keep getting the "what do you wish you had known" question. Becoming a mother is the weirdest, most magical, most surreal process. It's certainly something we've been doing since the beginning of time, and so much of this is terribly ordinary, universal, boring I realize. But it's new to me, and I've loved sharing it here, good and bad. I am well aware it's tirelessly verbose, gushy, heavy on too many of the same sort of picture. I'll try to work on that aspect too - but not today, (obviously). So whatever your reason for coming back, and it seems many of you are, I'm glad you are enjoying it too. We are blessed beyond measure by our little miss. A half year watching a baby grow with your husband, your families, your friends - it is the best kind of half-year one can ask for. Darling Eliza, we love you more than words can ever say. Hallelujah for the sixth month!