Well, what a few days it's been! Our lives are so incredibly different than they were on Thursday night at 11:00, when I was contracting one to two minutes apart through an episode of the Office. We decided it finally might be time to head to the hospital (my contractions had been close together off and on for awhile, and they still weren't terribly painful). I remained a 4 for the 2 hours they monitored me, so they ended up sending me home to sleep, saying I'd probably be back in later that morning. I woke up at 5:30 AM to a somewhat terrifying sign that could only mean we needed to get back to the hospital immediately. We made it out the door and back to the hospital in about 15 minutes, such a whirlwind and I have to admit at that point those nurses did not think the girl who was wheeled back in crying hysterically and trembling was going to go through with a med-free birth. All turned out to be just fine, but I'd progressed so they were keeping me this time and off we went!
Disclaimer: I wanted to tell our birth story in as tasteful a manner as possible for those who care to read it, and so I remember it. No mention of anything too gross, and I even left out the gooey baby pictures, but please feel free to skip over if it's not your thing!
I'd decided from early on I wanted to try labor without drugs for a number of reasons; my body doesn't always respond well to anesthetics and I had a few friends who had coached me through how it works and how it's a totally manageable and doable thing if you have the right mindset. I tried to maintain a positive attitude toward labor - it shouldn't be this scary thing we often see it as; when you fear the pain, it is much more intense as your body is working against you, tensing up and making the entire process more difficult and painful. I hoped that working with the pain - breathing deeply, being relaxed as possible - would get me through it. Remembering the pain has a purpose and our bodies know what to do. It sounds New Age, and maybe it is - not usually my style, but I think it worked.
That said, it is a very, very personal choice and there was a point (transition) when I completely understood why those drugs exist and I don't fault anyone for choosing them! Different circumstances determine different choices and I had said I'd do the epidural if circumstances made sense to. Luckily, I had a fairly short first labor (9.5 hours) because I'd been progressing at home the past few weeks, and there was no point when I was tempted by pain meds, because by the time it was too painful, it was almost over. Miller was a wonderful support to me and it went unbelievably smoothly, as perfectly as you could ever hope for it to. From 5:30 AM - 1:30 PM, I progressed each time they checked me, was still talking and laughing through contractions, and using breathing techniques to manage the pain. Because I wasn't doing pitocin, the contractions were moderately painful but manageable. Here I am at 12:15 - drinking apple juice and watching the BBC Pride & Prejudice (one of the nurses said, without knowing her name, "There are lots of cute names in this movie - I love the name Eliza!" - we took that as a sign we had made the right choice!):
Because I wasn't doing the epidural, my doctor waited to break my water until 12:18 PM, when I was in transition (this is the painful time when many women are ready to give up - it means you are getting ready to begin the pushing phase). Yowza! Man alive we were cooking now! I started pushing at 1:30, and pushed for 1.5 hours, though it seemed much quicker than that. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, I don't know why, but my body took over and I was just doing whatever felt most comfortable. I thought I would morph into that psycho lady in labor you always see on television, but apparently I was apologizing to everyone profusely for not pushing hard enough, or asking them for anything, or not being able to do exactly what they said. I also remember my amazing nurse Sarah being so sweet and encouraging, telling me how wonderful I was doing. I'd decided to forgo a doula, trusting that the nurses would be that additional support from an experienced perspective, and she was exactly what I had hoped for. But my husband was truly the best part - he did everything just right and I remember his encouragement the most.
Did you know that your body naturally produces a hormone that is in LSD for this stage of labor? In between contractions during the pushing phase, I threw my arms above my head and went into this dead sleep for about 3 minutes - which felt like 20 seconds - a completely euphoric state and it is the strangest rush I've ever felt. When you forgo the pain meds, your body takes over during this time and this hormone is its way of protecting you from the pain, and re-energizing you for your next contraction and push. It was the most exhilarating experience, and while I vividly remember how painful it was in the very end, it was instantly better when she arrived and was placed on my chest, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I'm told I burst into tears and though that makes sense, I don't remember anything but seeing her for the first time. Miss Eliza Louise entered the world at 3:06 PM with one quick cry, and then settled into my chest for a good 20 minutes of skin-to-skin snuggling before they took her to get her weight and measurements - 7 lbs, 8 oz, 19 inches long:
She was then returned for my arms for her first feeding - she knew just what to do:
Nicholas got to hold her during that time she was being cleaned up and weighed, I wish I had a picture of that but he was doing double duty as photographer. He was instantly a wonderful, protective father. We are both transformed.
An hour or so later, our very anxious "peanut gallery" of about 12 or so people came in for a quick peek and we handed out the name announcements.
Eliza is named for both sides of our family; it is a very old family name on Nicholas' side, and I am named for my great grandmother Elizabeth as Lisa is a diminutive of that name. As the first grandbaby on both sides, we loved Eliza as a tribute to our families, and Louise is in honor of my wonderful grandmother, Eliza's great grandmother, Lois Ann Mobley (Annie). We both love traditional, vintage names and it just seems to suit her perfectly.
We are very biased of course, but she has so far been just the sweetest little baby you could ask for - a wonderful bit of heaven. To say we are counting our blessings would be a massive understatement and we are so thankful for all your kind notes, thoughts, flowers and prayers these past few weeks. More to come VERY soon! XO
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