Love from above

I apologize for the lull, sweet friends - it was a bit of crazy week last week and to be honest, I was having trouble knowing just how to address it here. I didn't want to gloss over it, and yet I was finding myself too distracted to process or put my thoughts into one place.

We found out last week that my dear Papaw passed away. He was a wonderful man, and while his health had been fading for awhile, his passing was still a bit sooner than we expected, and it left me particularly sad (maybe selfishly so) that he so narrowly missed getting to meet his great granddaughter.

My earliest memory of Papaw is also an early food memory. I had my first steak at Nana and Papaw's, and I do sincerely remember it was the very best thing I'd ever tasted. I declared that "it wasn't just good, it was 'willy good'" (a phrase my family enjoys using to this day, along with a slew of other baby Lisa-isms derived from my hearing-impaired self's numerous speech impediments...charming). For a very long time, I remained convinced that steak was something that only my Papaw knew how to cook, and if you asked him he'd tell you that was probably about right.

Grandparents always seem to have that magic quality growing up; the ability to make the simplest things in your world extra wonderful and delicious. We attach some of our fondest memories to them, willfully choosing our rosiest lenses to see them through, because they delight in us so purely.

Papaw was that kind of grandfather; a special, jolly man who loved to tease you, loved to make you laugh, and his distinctive laugh is one I'll always carry with me.


It's a bittersweet thing, but Papaw is now reunited with the love of his life, my sweet Nana. He joins some of our other grandparents who once doted on us as little babies long ago, and who now watch over our growing family from above:

My Nana

Nicholas' GranMary and GranGeorge

Nicholas' Nan and Gran

We had another bit of news that day. Papaw's passing coincided with one of my (now frequent) Dr. appointments, and at the time I thought I may need to travel to Houston for the services. Since I was already out of the window for traveling, I needed my doctor's permission to make the exception, so I had her check on things to make sure I was clear to make the 2 hour drive. Well, oddly enough, my mom had left me a voicemail beforehand telling me I didn't need to have her check; we were postponing services until much later and I wouldn't need to go to Houston. Even though I was playing around on my phone the entire time while waiting on the doctor, somehow I didn't have a missed call or any notification of the voicemail, and thus I didn't see she'd left it until after my appointment.

It was such a blessing that I didn't, because it turns out my doctor discovered our little lady may be trying to make her debut early, and she placed me on modified bedrest until we can get to term (2 weeks from now). It was a whirlwind, emotionally draining day, processing the loss of Papaw while fast-forwarding from the more comfortable "it's still over a month away" place to the "any day now" mindset - and all the additional worry that comes with preterm labor. It may seem silly, but I'm a big believer in those little signs that someone's watching over you, and the sequence of events just struck me as too odd to ignore. Although I had suddenly started slowing down quite a bit over the past few days, I know I would have still otherwise continued with my regular activities for another few weeks as much as I was up to it, possibly bringing on early labor. Whatever the reason, divine intervention or just blind luck, I'm so glad we discovered the issue.

So, I'm confined to the house and the bed for the most part these days, and welcome emails, calls, texts (and post suggestions!). My doctor made me come back in on Thursday due to some suspicious symptoms I was having, which all checked out OK, and gave me a chance to ask a zillion more questions I'd come up with. Thankfully, the baby and I are doing just great otherwise, and there are no health concerns for either of us at this point other than a possible pre-term delivery. Basically, it wouldn't be a terrible thing for her to come this early, just not ideal, and we are very ready whatever the case may be.

I now feel a bit like a ticking timebomb; if we're being honest, for how completely uneventful and routine this pregnancy has been, the events of this week really threw me for a loop. And truthfully, since getting back from Fredericksburg and seeing only the delivery on the horizon, I had lately been feeling just a little gunshy about the whole thing - a new feeling, but probably pretty normal I'd guess - and this has all swiftly propelled me into that ready place, the place I needed to be.

So for now, we continue to patiently wait to welcome our little one into this world, knowing that whenever she comes, she will be watched over by her Papaw, Nana, GranMary, GranGeorge, Gran and Nan - who cared so much for us, and who made our worlds extra wonderful and delicious.