La casa de Millers

Today I (and Baby Dos) got carried over the threshold of our new home while Eliza toddled around her new front yard. Happy closing day to us!

I'm so glad one of us works out. Peanut dos and I are already a bit of a heavy load.

My view from the threshold: Eliza with sweet Trace, our friend and realtor (and most excellent babysitter during our many appointments at the house!).

We can't wait to get all settled in.
(thanks to my sweet friend Meghan who sent me this pic bright and early this morning, tagged "happy closing day!").

Hope everyone has a great weekend!
- Posted from my iPhone

Mornin!

(With apologies to my Instagram followers, who will find this largely regurgitory...camera is going to the shop today, I swear).

Well! A busy August here for us. You? Between buying and renovating a house, packing, being hit by a nasty virus, and keeping up with a now fully toddling little miss while pregnant, we haven't had a lot of down time. Ooh, and I'm going to Colorado next week. I know, life is hard. I am certainly not complaining - it's just been crazy busy around here.

Except for this. Many moons ago I wrote about how I'd envisioned stay at home motherhood as a morning of folding sweet smelling laundry watching Bob Barker on the Price is Right while the baby napped. No doubt a fuzzy memory from my own childhood. Well, last week I found myself enjoying a little Barefoot Contessa during an extra long nap while I folded laundry and the dogs snoozed beside me. A rare moment of quiet, peaceful, productive solitude.



Perhaps the calm before the storm, as the following day Eliza came down with a nasty mystery virus. Her fever hovered around 104 until Friday morning, and she felt just terrible. The rest of the week was spent waking up with her every few hours at night, and the days crept by very slowly with a hot, sweaty baby parked on my chest.


We logged a lot of quality Sesame Street time, with faithful Bun Bun by our side.


By Friday she was on the up and up again, hamming it up in the tub.


I've managed to keep laundry done on schedule and dinner on the table (pats self on back). Here was one of my more successful made up recipes - I had bought some ground lamb but couldn't decide what to do with it. Miller suggested I do something Greek with tzatziki, so I grilled up some seasoned lamb, onions and cherry tomatoes, served on some quinoa and topped with some fat-free tzatziki (didn't use a recipe, just threw dill, lemon juice, diced cucumbers, S&P and Fage 0% together to taste...mint is optional, my husband is not a fan so I omitted it). Threw some poorly chopped seasoned cucumbers on the side for extra color and crunch.


Very good, incredibly easy, and super healthy! One of my favorite timesavers is to make quinoa and pastas in a big batch and just reheat throughout the week.

All done with the help of my other best friend, coffee. Sworn off in pregnancy one, embraced in pregnancy two. Just the one allowed cup of course, but I savor every drop.



Groceries purchased with the help of my stylin sidekick, Liz.



For our social butterfly, every trip to the grocery store is her own personal Miss America parade.

So, right at 14 months, and two days after my ginormous "catching up" post, in which I reported that she was very close to walking, little miss took off and hasn't looked back. She has surprised us by being able to stand on her own from the get-go and toddling around quite adeptly with many things in her hands (usually baby doll) right off the bat. At the beginning she was walking with her arms overhead most of the time - hilarious and so cute - but that's subsided some, much to my dismay.

Eliza fully weaned the day I hit the second tri. I had planned on weaning at exactly one year, but found out I was pregnant one week after her first birthday, so decided to wait until we were in the clear in the first tri. It was time and my roll-with-the-punches babe hardly seemed to mind. Her morning feed has been replaced by a very gratifying, thumb in mouth snuggle session in the bed each morning.



Though I dreaded it for months, once I felt it was the right time, it was easy and I'm glad to close that chapter (for a few months anyway...). I have to say, after all our early struggles and doubts from doctors and lactation consultants on my commitment to sustaining as much of a nursing relationship as I could, it's a bit of a personal achievement for me that we made it to fourteen months. Booya. Shame on anyone who makes an emotionally vulnerable new mother feel less than adequate. Mamas always know best, right from the start, and always do their best for their babies. I am hopeful that we will have a bit of a smoother start on the next go round though!

Our funny girl's new-found independence has been a new adventure. A small piece of me dreaded it, but thus far it's just shown us more of her spunky little personality. I try to give her plenty of freedom within the boundaries we've established. At the moment she's pretty much just on the hunt for things to put on. She is a girl who knows what she wants and is quite confident in her fashion choices. She pulls out my drawers and puts on my clothes:



Pulls bracelets out of my vanity to dress up her pajamas.


Wants sunglasses on at all times. Often upside down and caddywompus, like so:


Can make an accessory out of anything (here I think she was going for an Olympics-themed outfit):


Isn't a slave to the fashions of the season. If it works, it works.


Remains sweet as pie, though of course we get a daily dose of emerging toddler. We're big into throwing things and then looking for the reaction. Here she's considering tossing her sippy on the floor. I'm sure you can guess what happened.


Or like yesterday, when she pulled a glass bottle out of the shopping cart and dropped it on the ground. SO, perhaps sweet as a slightly busted pie...


We're doing just great - those defiant moments are all part of them exerting their new independence and I'm really loving her at this age. I hope Eliza's still enjoying our days together, even though her playdates and pool dates have largely been replaced with trips to flooring stores, front door stores, Benjamin Moore and the like.  A little guilt there, but we'll be back into our routine soon enough. I try to have her "help" me wherever we are, which works most of the time but for some reason she hates Home Depot. I've decided it's because it isn't filled with lots of adoring fans (read: moms and grandmothers) like the grocery store is. Thank you to our mystery friend who came running over with her darling basset hound in the middle of an epic tantrum at Lowe's yesterday evening. Once she saw that puppy dog she forgot why she was mad (she was mad because, after throwing her sunglasses on the floor one too many times, I had banished them to my handbag. I know, I know, so cruel. Report me to CPS. And no way was I giving in just to shut her up, so we were beelining for the door when our savior in basset form appeared). You're messing with the wrong mama, Lizzy.

Our coffee table (and my brain) currently looks like this:


We close on our new house on Thursday, with work beginning Friday morning. Packing has commenced - I've been dismantling my favorite corners of the house -



- with plans to pretty much get all but a skeleton crew of necessities in boxes and at the new house this weekend. We're doing about two weeks' (we hope) worth of remodeling projects and then will move all the furniture in on September 1st - our five-year anniversary.

Our plan is to celebrate by also finding out the gender of baby dos that evening, in our new home. I think it's pretty dead even with finding out on Christmas morning! My slightly hormonal self is having a bit of a hard time leaving our little rent house, which though far from our dream home has been such a happy, cozy place for us. The most perfect place to start our family. But as happy as this chapter has been, I know our new home will be a wonderful place to grow into as a family of four, and for that I am brimming with excited anticipation for September 1st, just as I was five years ago. 



Until next time, friends - xoxo

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine

I awoke this morning with sweet Georgia by my side, as she always is when my heart is heavy. 

Yesterday evening we learned that a fellow W&L alum, nearly six months pregnant, passed away after being swept off a sandbar in North Carolina. Her husband fought mightily to save her from drowning and remains in critical condition. Though I have friends who knew her well, I hardly knew her at all, but such a loss reverberates around the country through the strong ties of the W&L community. And while I know that kind of pain well - the pain of a tragic, sudden loss - I would never begin to know how her family is feeling, or how they will cope with the loss of both Jill and their baby girl, who they had named Olive. It's an almost unthinkable tragedy and she and those who loved her will be on my mind often in the coming weeks.

Today would be my brother Andrew's 28th birthday; it's always a hard day. I have little traditions I do to celebrate and remember him, like buying lunch for a homeless person, because that's something he would think is cool. I do not do anything to mark the day he died, because it is very close to his birthday and seems quite unnecessary after celebrating his life.

Last year I started a new tradition with E; each year on his birthday we will go and pick out one of his favorite children's books to add to her library. He was a voracious reader, and I like that it's a little piece of him she will know as she grows. I've made special bookplates for those books; last year it was the Cat in the Hat, which some of you may remember was a very early favorite of hers. I think this year it will be Richard Scarry.

One thing I know for sure is that your heart is marked forever by those we love and lose too soon. It took me many years to come through the fog; I'm not sure it lifted entirely until well into my late 20s. Even in the fog, life marched on, and I was carried with it, finishing my senior year, graduating from W&L, beginning my first job, getting married. I grappled with depression off and on through that time, understanding and processing the loss, regaining perspective as an only child, and overcoming the toll it took on my ability to cope (I'm sure the high-stress, long hours job I had didn't help matters - but lordy I had some crazy lady moments back then!). It took years. And moments like our wedding day, or the birth of my daughter, are truly perfect except that he is missing. And that is always, always there. But somehow, I know, so is he.

The only thing that these unthinkable tragedies do is radically alter your perspective on life; hopefully for the better, though understandably sometimes it's very hard to come through the pain. For me, about five years down the road, I finally zeroed in on the most important thing, which was that my brother and I had two hour-long conversations in the two weeks before his sudden passing, one of which was on the same night that he died. They were the only lengthy phone conversations we had ever had since I'd gone away to college.  We talked about the wonderful, haunting Johnny Cash album that had just been released. We bonded about stuff. We were growing into adult siblings, and out of snarky teenagers who merely acknowledged one another's presence. I'm so glad I answered the phone that night.

Coming out of the "fog," I made a conscious decision to slow down and live more in the present. I awoke one day, four and a half years into my career and knew that I would never be happy with my current job as my "career." I would one day look back with deep regret, realizing how much of my life it had consumed.

We had an opportunity to go to London for a semester of Miller's law school - throwing down payment money, my job, and savings irresponsibly down the drain - and while it felt like such a gamble then, it's an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. My brother, I knew, would be proud of me for chucking it all in favor of an enriching adventure, because, though two and a half years my junior, he was an actual genius and wise beyond his years. Going to Beijing for the '08 Olympics on a week's notice whim was another of those "chuck it" moments, as I truly thought they may fire me but we bought the tickets anyway. Staying home with my baby girl is time I'll never get again - babies don't keep, and for me personally, it's exactly where I want to be right now. I am so, so fortunate to be able to do it. I want to work again, someday, hopefully pursuing something I am passionate about...but for now, this is where I want to be. Living in the present, enjoying my family. I don't ever want to have any regrets. What a gift that is.



"Today, while the blossoms still sing to the vine" is a favorite old camp song of mine, and I've sung it to Eliza as a lullaby since she was a teensy little thing. Now she knows it is the cue to snuggle in and take her thumb before I put her down to sleep. It ends with, "a million tomorrows shall all pass away, 'ere I forget, all the joys that are mine - today." Even on the tough days, it centers me as a reminder to slow down, count my many blessings, stop worrying, and enjoy this moment. This moment, as they say, is your life.





XO
lmm

In which I apologize, then overcompensate with a massive Instagram dump and some news.

Sorry, sorry. I swear, we have been very busy. My portrait lens is on the fritz again so this post is one big Instagram dump. Apologies to my Instagram followers!

To backtrack a bit, at the end of June we took a very quick trip to Colorado. In hindsight, maybe too quick. We went to attend the wedding of our friend Rob in Durango, and conveniently Daddy Jack and Cita have a beautiful cabin just an hour away. We brought Eliza so that we could help Daddy Jack celebrate a very big birthday, and then she could hang out with her grandparents while we celebrated Rob's nuptials with our W&L amigos. Good plan, right? Hmm. Well, evidently no one told United Airlines our plan, and thus our trip getting there was an absolute nightmare. Poor Eliza remained in good spirits through it all (really, not much fazes her) and I was very, very glad I brought my arsenal of way more snacks and toys than I thought we could ever use. In the end we did get there. And hey, we even got a free carseat out of it (which now lives in Amarillo). It was just...a very. long. day. 

This is roughly hour 8 of airport purgatory, starting to feel a bit like I'm trapped in a Tom Hanks movie. "Bun bun, the amazing bouncing bunny!" is wearing thin.

This is the only way we roll these days, accessorized with baby doll in tow.

Happy birthday, Daddy Jack! We love you!

I suffered from a bit of travel weariness/altitude sickness/otherwise bad mountain trip timing and became ill the afternoon after we arrived - too green to make it to the rehearsal dinner. Sad panda. But, I understand it was a very good time, as these affairs tend to be when all of us reunite for a wedding. The wedding was beautiful, held in the countryside of the Rocky Mountains.

Rob is an avid sailor (as well as a beekeeper), so I thought it was quite clever that the guests signed the book of knots in lieu of the traditional guestbook.

The happy couple

Durango wedding, sunset

#weddingsinourthirties

Wedding day. Rob's lovely bride Vaughn is a total and absolute doll (can't you tell?).

So, obviously it was a very worthwhile trip and a great time in the end. And our very best wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Burnside!

I realized I never posted a "year" wrap-up. I don't really know where to begin, but we are having a grand time, with very few bad days around here. She is such a happy, positive, spirited, easygoing little girl. I know it is supposed to get hard again eventually, but right now she is 100% pure love and I'm savoring it. My recap of E, year two so far:

Girly, girly girly. Necklaces, bracelets (neither of which I wear very often, no idea where this comes from), baby doll, sunglasses, purses. She is a little lady.

Baby doll. I've said it before and I'll say it again: she is obsessed. Wakes up from naps pointing to baby doll (who is not allowed in the crib) and boohooing. "Burps" her, puts her in a high chair to feed her. Rocks her, hugs her, talks to her. Who even knows what she and BD chat about all day. Here BD, have a Cheerio.

Baby Doll, Eliza and I have been working on connecting with our inner artist selves. This consists of me showing her how we can make pictures with our crayons (see: mouse) and Eliza making a scribble, then feeding the crayon to BD. 

Here's BD doing her best Baby Jesus.

Her favorite, favorite book right now is a throwback, anti-feminist Golden Books classic called "Little Mommy" and we read it 78 times a day. It makes being a mommy look so glamorous (I do the dishes and sweep the floor / And wipe the fingerprints off the door...). As you can imagine, Miller LOVES reading this one to her.

Still talks all day long - in the car seat, to her baby, to her books, to herself. She talks to us in an alien garble, very self-assured of what she's telling us, pointing and conversational. Very chatty. New words all the time emerge from the jibberish, and she knows lots of animal sounds which is freaking precious. May have to upload that video. Oh, and of course, E loves a good game of peekaboo with Dada and strangers alike.

She hasn't hit any kind of shy phase yet. She is very good at restaurants, partly because she is completely consumed by her main goal: waving people down from the high chair, determined to make them say hello and be her new friend. She has kisses for her little friends too, regardless of whether they reciprocate:

Our dear Lizzy Lou continues to be THE messiest eater of all the babies I know. We hypothesize that part of her whole charming restaurant schtick is to win over the waitresses so she can dump food on the floor without remorse.

That said, she eats everything happily and is a very good eater. Can't win em all I suppose, and our dogs certainly appreciate the mess.

Every morning, she and I wait for Dada on the bed so she can hand him his socks and undershirt after his shower. It's a very important thing she has to do. Some mornings she tries his clothes on while she waits.

Other random things she knew around a year: pointing to most of her body parts (head, of course, being the favorite, as we still put everything on our head), animal noises, pointing to communicate needs. I'm sure there are others...

THE question everyone asks when they turn a year: Is she walking? Well, she took her first independent steps a few days after her Christening (that would be June 5, her due date). Since then, she has taken many more, and walks on her own part of the time now, but still prefers crawling or holding onto a finger to full-on toddling. At this point, we are very close to being a full-time walker, but I haven't been pushing it; I know she'll do it when she's ready.

E is a tough little gal. She recovers pretty easily from the tough bonks and falls, and many don't faze her at all. She dropped the bottle right at year one, so easy. Can be left with anyone, even a new babysitter, quite happily; in fact as I drove away from her for the night in Colorado, she clapped and waved at me from the stoop. "Byyyyeeee!!" Sniff. She is my adventurous, secure, easygoing girl.

Probably the hardest thing since she turned one: We consolidated the nap for about two weeks, because she started skipping her afternoon one regularly. It was a big transition for us both, and she handled it wonderfully (better than me - such a shake-up to the routine!).

Then we came home from Colorado, her schedule all shaken up, and it was clear she needed two again. We haven't looked back - I love two naps a day. Sometimes she just chatters in her crib instead of sleeping, and other mornings she sleeps two hours, so I've just decided to impose a morning and afternoon "rest hour" regardless of whether she sleeps for the indefinite future.

Here's little miss no-nap a few days ago. Passed out on the way home from the grocery store after chattering through the morning nap. Not tired, eh Liz?

"Eliza, can you give Maddie a hug?"

I have so many indescribably precious, perfectly ordinary moments with her and every single day I thank every lucky star there is (and my wonderful husband) for the gift of watching her personality unfold daily. I'm not going to BS you guys. While it never stops being hard work, being Eliza's mama is a cushy job right now. Our days really are a lot of this:

This:

This:

This:

And this, my little laundry "helper":

Ending the day with:

And this.

In short, year two started out just a little bit easier than year one. I wouldn't trade this time for anything. Love her.

So, that about wraps it up. Oh, wait, there was this one other thing. Speaking of year one. While in Colorado, we gave Daddy Jack a new cigar case. Rolled up inside was a little picture.

Can you guess what it was?

 

Eliza is very excited to share that she will have her very own, real life baby doll to play with in early February (or, more likely, January!). We are thrilled to pieces and can't wait to meet our precious little Peanut. This pregnancy has been exactly like the last one, down to the cirtus cravings and meat aversions, though the exhaustion becomes more pronounced when you're chasing around a little one. 

 

I try to stick to my "Sesame Street on Saturday mornings" rule to keep E. from being too much of a TV junkie, but I admit there have been a few days lately, like this one, when I've thrown a snack on the table, settled into the couch, and ordered up a little Elmo.  

And then, the sweetest thing happened: my crumb-clad little baby climbed into my lap to watch.

Goodness.

Other than that very green day in Colorado, I have been feeling pretty good for a pregnant lady and all looks great thus far! We also have a contract on a house, but given the arduous length of this post already, I am going to have to leave that for another day, when we are a little further along in the process and have more to report. Needless to say, things have been busy busy around here, and the blog tends to get a bit neglected during such times. All my time and energy is going to E., being pregnant, and Pinterest searches for things like "front door" and "white kitchen" and "wainscoting." You don't want to be in my head right now.

As we seem to always do everything at once (Miller started law school the same week we got married), we are currently scheduled to be moving in, finding out the sex of the baby, and celebrating our fifth anniversary all on the same day. Whew. What a perfect way to ring in five years. So, stay tuned, friends!